Get the life you REALLY want, be GENUINELY happy – is it really possible?

We live in a mixed up muddled up world where it is so easy to be swept along in the flow and end up in a place we never wished to be and would never of chosen for ourselves. Constantly bombarded with the negative drivel from self-serving media moguls dished up to keep us titillated, pacified and controlled. Led from the back by hapless politicians who are so obsessed with their own ‘personal brand’ they forget the very essence of democracy and that they are actually there to do what is best for us rather than best for themselves and their ‘corporate sponsors’. A world where with all of our advancements in learning, technology and food production there are still children starving and millions living in poverty when around them the limited few prosper and build phenomenal personal fortunes.   A world that, it can be argued, has been corrupted for too long by too many for most to believe anything can be done to save it from a messy and premature end.

It’s so easy to read the above nodding your head and agreeing in principle that I have a point. It’s very easy to then move on to your next article or the rest of your day and do nothing, change nothing. It’s even easier to read, process and rant a few minutes in agreement at how bad everything has got and how it’s not our fault wagging a finger in the air in anger and then get on with maintaining the status quo following the same old same old routines and patterns in servitude of the corrupted and mixed up messed up world we now live in.

However, where is the fun in that? I ask you, what would you change? What would you do? And where would you begin? I myself got to a point a few months ago where I had got so fed up with being pushed and pulled, shaped and remoulded told what I should do, need to do and of course how I was supposed to do it. I had a very good job running a national sales team for one of the largest organisations in the world. I had crafted a successful career for myself by playing the corporate game and fitting the ever changing mould of a ‘successful professional’. Then one night when talking to my daughter just before bed time I asked her about where she wanted to go on holiday this year. Her response made me think, it actually was the seed that started me off on this new and exciting journey into the unknown and unchartered landscape.

She said “I don’t want a holiday, I just want you at home so I can see you everyday” I was working away at least 3 nights a week and I suddenly realised how horribly wrong I had got things; All of the missed school plays and after school activities, the missed parents evening and not being able to help at the school faire, missed millimetres in growth and all of the new wondrous experiences in her, and my sons, life I was missing on a daily basis. Now I know that this experience is not original, it’s not even special. I think and believe that every working parent feels exactly the same at some point or another. But what do you do? Well I very nearly did what I see the majority of my kindred spirits doing every day. Nothing!

However, when I heard of an old friend passing away unexpectedly at a relatively early age it again made me think. Made me think of my own mortality and, again, I thought of my two wonderful children. That is when I decided that everything can and should be different. That this world we live in only appears mixed up and messed due to our perception of it. Most importantly, it appears that way because we, the ‘general public’ allow it to be that way. We chain ourselves to jobs, debt and unnecessary frivolous purchases to further feed those that have enslaved us to our lives with our noses firmly stuck to the grind stone. For what? For fun? Happiness? Contentment? I don’t think so.

So let’s begin this journey together. The first phase is to get your head right I admit that when I started my new life plan it was hard to shake off the old ‘corporate me’. Change is hard especially when we are so conditioned to think and perceive things in a certain way. However I got over my early wobbles and am now in a good place where I see the good I the world. I see the joy in my children’s faces when we make time to play and generally mess about. I laugh at the ineptitude of our ruling minority and realise that their grasp on control is only real in the newspapers and collective media they serve so well. I realise that we, the people, each of us individually can be so much happier and content if we just change the way we perceive the world around us.

The freaky thing is, and I am sure you will realise this too, I already knew how to do it, how to change and how to achieve what I really genuinely wanted all along. In fact, somewhere deep inside all of us I genuinely believe that we can all do it. Achieve a much better more balanced life for ourselves.

The first phase is to get your head straight, I have developed a program to help you and illustrate how to achieve it which is available on my website (liberateconsultants.com). It was actually all of the skills and approaches I used in my corporate life developing high performing national sales account managers and highly efficient executives. It just needed, like everything else you will soon realise, tweaking and shaping to serve a much better purpose other than generating massive profits for the corporate machine.

In this article I am giving you the basic structure, the road map. I think this is enough for the most of you to get yourselves started. Now remember, this is not a ‘get rich quick’, ‘change your life in 7 days’, ’rub crystals in your never regions’ snake oil cure for every malady. It is a genuine man, that’s me, sharing my life experience with you with the genuine intent to help you have a better and more balanced life where you are in control, where you make decisions and decide where you want to end up. How long it takes to complete and achieve your own personal aspirations really does depend on you and your application. So if you feel life is passing you by, that you are dissatisfied with your lot and how your life has turned out and genuinely want to change then this is a very good place to start.

Stage 1.

Take ownership:

It is your life, your and only yours and to start making positive changes you need to be in the driving seat. Sounds so obvious? Well, for me this was the biggest challenge. I had a very responsible job with a lot of accountability. The biggest step for me was realising that my servitude of that life was NOT serving me and what was important to me. A good way to measure this is to think about how you perceive your role in each aspect of your life. Think and consider; are you at Cause or Effect of each situation in each area of what you consider to be your life?

First the definitions:

To be at Cause of any situation is where, when you look at the situation, you consider yourself to be responsible for the outcomes and results you have achieved/are achieving.

To be at Effect of any situation is where you perceive that your outcomes/results are nothing to do with you. They are delivered by an external force and therefore not in your control. It’s not your fault!

An Example:

A simple one, think of getting a parking ticket. If you perceive;

1. You’re at effect: your reaction will be. What a Jobs Worth! Bloody council fleecing hardworking law abiding citizens like me to further line their pockets and pay for their over abundant life styles. It’s the government finding ways of taking from the common man to feed their big corporate partners and lavish them with tax loopholes and ‘Market Advantages’ to further enhance the rich poor divide. One thing is for certain I am the victim and it is definitely not my fault!

An extreme example, but I think you get the gist. So, the alternative;

1. You’re at Cause: I knew there was a time limit on the parking; I knew I was parking in a paid parking place and I accept that I was late. Of course if a traffic warden happens to see my car parked without a valid ticket it is their job to serve me the penalty. They probably have a family to support just like me, they probably need their job to live and survive in our very expensive society. What would happen if we didn’t have restricted parking? It would be bedlam in every town and city centre. It was my choice to take the risk and I have to accept the consequences.

Now, neither response gets you out of paying the fine. However to be at Effect it becomes very hard to learn from our experiences so we are more likely to make the same bad decisions again and again (relate it to aspects of your life like; Relationships, Jobs and your health and wellbeing – are you learning from your decisions or repeating the same ‘mistakes’ over and over again?). At Cause, it doesn’t make the situation any better, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay the fine. However what it does enable you to do is realise what you could of/should have done differently. It enables you to rationalise and, most importantly learn from your experiences.

I don’t know about you, but before I fully grasped this concept I was going round in some very dissatisfying circles in far too many of the important aspects in my life. For example, taking promotions in work even though, in my heart, I knew that they delivered very little real and genuine benefit to what was really important to me and those I love.

Stage 2.

Decide what you want: (Decide what is REALLY important to you.

Again, so simple isn’t it? So obvious, but, when was the last time you really took stock of where you are and where you want to be. In the program I explain ‘The dominant thought theorem’ which would be a little too expansive for this article. The easiest and most concise way to describe this is if you;

• Don’t decide what you really want – you will float along through life like a pooh stick ending up wherever the flow of the river of life takes. You will be at complete ‘effect’ of all aspects of your life. Your destiny will be decided by the people and circumstances that surround you.
• Decide where you want to be by listening to what others think – Some people will give you excellent advice and genuinely care about you. However, it has to be you that decide otherwise they are choosing you destiny and they are the ones who you may blame (Effect) if you are not satisfied with where you end up.
• Decide for yourself – Probably the hardest of them all. Because you will know that if it all goes wrong it will be your fault. Quite scary. However it is the only way to be ‘at cause’ and therefore the only way to be in control.

How do you do it? Quite simple, further tips and tools are in the program, set some time specifically to consider what you want. Involve those you love and care about (Wife/Husband/Family) be honest, be genuine and be considerate. Write down your thoughts and considerations and then….make your decisions. Take your time but ensure you don’t procrastinate too much.

Stage 3

Positive Attitude and Approach.

So easy to describe this one, but, so challenging for some to master. Again, you can get a lot more on how to do this in the program.  You need to believe you CAN do it. Remember this is not about achieving everything in one day or overnight. It is about deciding what you want and then realising that it is POSSIBLE. That you can do it. At this stage don’t worry if it doesn’t look plausible, just make sure you believe it is possible and you can do it/achieve it. There is a very correct, and slightly over used, saying ‘If you believe you can you probably will, if you think you can’t you definitely won’t!’.

Stage 4

Positive Energy

Actually all you have achieved thus far is feeling good and making decisions. No you need to get the energy and application to ACTUALLY DO IT! Get up, move, dance, jog jump for joy anything to get you up and moving. Exercise realises all the right chemicals into your system to give you the drive and determination you need whilst making you feel positive about doing it. Yes it can be hard to get started, but, once you do you will immediately feel the benefit. Without the energy and application all you have is empty aspirations and that really will not deliver any real benefits to you, will it? Again, so tips in the program

Stage 5.

Take Action.

Create a simple plan, what you need to do, when and how you are going to do it and then get started. No need to wait, no need to think too much. Just get started moving towards what you want. Again, a lot more depth in the program but you get the idea I am sure.

I genuinely hope this helps you as you read it. If you do need a little more guidance then download the full program at liberateconsultants.com. The program is just under 2 hours in length split into short flash presentations that, once you have downloaded it, play in your web browser (no need for internet connection once it is downloaded to your system). I hope this has been useful, I would love your feedback and also to hear of your experiences.

Regards,

Richard.